Weird Trek Episodes - Patterns of Force aka "Why did you use Nazi Germany for your system, you Idiot?

Next up for the month is a return to the OG series for Star Trek. Current events got me wondering about this episode. No, I’m not saying that America is looking like Nazi Germany, okay? With everything going on, I thought I might revisit this one. I needed to break the pattern of “Look at Social Media and be Disappointed by People.” I don’t know what I can add to the conversation other that “F###, f###, f###, and S###,” so I’ll just like and comment a couple of things. Besides, everyone else is saying good things, and for that, I’m glad.

“Patterns of Force” came from the show’s second season. It’s not their best season, but it did have some pretty good episodes. We start out with the Enterprise heading to the planet Ekos to pick up history observer John Gill. I’d make a Johnny Gill reference, but I’ll hold off for now. After they wonder why a rocket was shot from the planet, Kirk and Spock beam down in disguise. Ekos’s technology is similar to 20^th century Earth. What our heroes find is that it’s too similar to 20^th century Earth because they find soldiers dressed up as Nazis.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Schisms aka "Alien Abductions Galore!"

Well, it’s Star Wars day, and I’m talking about a TNG episode… yeah, I’m that guy. Honestly, I would’ve done a post on the 7th season on Clone Wars (it just ended today), but I’ll wait on that. I might as well start off Sci-fi Month with my favorite sci-fi franchise. Tonight, it’s Star Trek’s version of an alien abduction episode… yeah, Trek’s done those, but this is a little different. It’s from the sixth season of the show.

The episode starts off with life on the Enterprise-D drumming along. Riker’s a bit restless, and it doesn’t help that Data has decided to host a poetry session in 10-Forward. “Ode to Spot” is definitely a classic. Also, Geordi is also making modifications to the sensor array. Things start to feel off on the ship when other members start to feel restless and a little paranoid. Riker, Geordi, Worf, and others feel like something’s off. Even Data’s been screwed with, and all this comes as they find a weird anomaly in Cargo Bay 4.

You know it's bad because Riker has issues when the hair is razzled.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - The Icarus Factor aka "Daddy Issues With a Dose of THE EVOLUTION OF THE MARTIAL ARTS!"

"Whoever wins this round of American Gladiators will run through The Eliminator!"

Next up for the month, I thought I’d revisit the Star Trek universe to see what fighting goes on over there. Yeah, the Federation may be a utopia where humanity has ascended into greatness or whatever that juice Picard was drinking during TNG’s first season. Oh yeah, that reminds me… someone’s coming back to TV this week! That’ll be exciting, but let me get this out of the way first.

“The Icarus Factor” was a Season 2 episode from TNG. Things were admittedly better in this season, but the show wasn’t there yet. Some changes occurred like Geordi and Worf getting promotions, Riker getting that awesome beard, and the ship getting a new doctor that barely any fans like. Dr. Pulaski was… ‘aight, but I see why folk hate her. She took some getting used to. This episode also introduces a couple of things: Anbo-jitsu (THE ULTIMATE EVOLUTION IN THE MARTIAL ARTS… and yeah, I’m putting that in caps), and Klingon painsticks.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Impulse aka "Twilight of the Dead(?)!"

Well, Halloween is upon us, and the usual “Look at Somewhat Scary Things” has started. Let’s face it, “Look at Somewhat Scary Things” has been a thing this year if you look at the state of the world. Anyway, I’m not here to talk about what Lafreeze, the Orange Lantern is doing today. I wanted to find and look at some horror-themed Star Trek episodes. There aren’t many unfortunately. If I hadn’t talked about Enterprise’s “Resurrection” a few years back, that would be a contender. I then remembered that Star Trek tried to do zombies at some point, so I set out to watch that.

"Impulse" is the 5^th episode from Season 3 of Star Trek: Enterprise. This is where the show started to take a turn for the better with its season-long Xindi arc. At this point, Earth gets attacked by a new race called the Xindi. Starfleet sends the Enterprise into the Delphic Expanse, the region of space where the Xindi live. It also a region that has weird space anomalies, and this is something that the Vulcans have experienced. They lost a couple of ships in there and what they saw through ship logs was pretty disturbing.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Endgame aka "All Good Things... Version 2.0"

Young Janeway: Are our uniforms going to look that bad?

Old Janeway: Well... yes. If there's one bad thing "All Good Things..." brought into existence, it's this crappy uniform!

All this talk about the Game of Thrones final episode has got me thinking about other final episodes. Last episodes tend to range from “what the heck was that crap” to “that was pretty good.” Even some of the best shows end up having a bad ending. I’ve never watched Dexter, but that’s one that gets thrown around a lot. Sci-fi franchises have also felt this. For every “All Good Things…,” you’ll get a “These are the Voyages….” This stuff just tends to be random. Then, there are the ones that just “whelm” you. They’re not good nor or are they bad. In Star Trek’s case: it’s one thing: “Endgame.”

No, this doesn’t involve Captain Janeway flinging Mjolnir at the Borg Queen because that would be too cool. “Endgame” was the series finale for Star Trek: Voyager and it aired May 21, 2001. At this point, I was catching up with the show through reruns on UPN. We only had the station for about a year, so I didn’t start watching VOY properly until the end of the sixth season. We even got a few surprises in the finale like Alice Krige reprising her role as the Borg Queen. I know I liked this back when I first saw it, but why did have a whelming feeling when I saw this a couple of years ago?

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Man of the People aka "Troi's Gettin' Old, Hot, Bothered, and Scratchy!"

Counselor Troi, did you throw on my old man makeup again? I must say that it at least looks better on you than I and that is not saying much!

Well, it’s time for another weird episode from the Star Trek franchise. I haven’t done many of these in a while.  You can only watch so many weird episodes of Trek. I’d rather watch the good ones. Anyway, today’s episode is from Season 6 of TNG. That was a fine season for the show but I can’t really say that about this episode. “Man of the People" was the third episode for the season and it involves Counselor Troi going through the gauntlet again. It tends to happen a lot with her.

The episode starts out with the Enterprise finding a transport being attacked. Apparently, they’re being attacked because a diplomat, Ramid Ves Alkar, is on board. They save the transport and save Alkar who’s with his really overprotective mother. Starfleet orders the Enterprise to take Alkar to his destination since he’s needed for an important peace negotiation. While he’s on board, Alkar takes a liking to Troi and his mother isn’t liking it one bit. The mother then suddenly passes away. Dr. Crusher wants to run an autopsy, but Alkar’s customs won’t allow that. He then gets with Troi to do some sort of funeral ceremony that involves weird stones.

After the ceremony, Troi starts to feel… turned on sexually. She makes advances at Alkar but he refuses her. This leads her to find some random Ensign. Riker finds out about this and is kind of weirded out. It even gets weirder when Troi starts to age rapidly, act unprofessional, and not wear her uniform. She even came on Riker at some point and scratched his neck badly. She tries to get with Alkar again but he refuses. When the Enterprise makes it to the planet and Alkar is preparing to leave, a really old Troi finds his party and tries to kill his female assistant in a jealous rage. Instead, she stabs Picard.

Is that the "Talk to the Hand" maneuver, Sensei Worf?

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Sub Rosa aka "The Ghost and Doctor Crusher"

Uh... I think we need an adult! Also, fetch Father McFluggal at the local shire!

Since another Star Wars movie is out this weekend, I thought it was time to go somewhere else. I barely talked about any Star Trek this year, so this seems like a nice time to do it. Unfortunately, it's this episode. This is from Season 7 of TNG, a nice but kind of mixed season. It's not bad but compared to the other previous seasons, it's a litle subpar. I've been listening to Mission Log, a Star Trek podcast, and they're currently going through it. They touched this episode recently, so I decided to do a rewatch of my own.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Turnabout Intruder aka "MUTNY! BLOODY, STINKING MUTNY!!!"

Not even your telekinetic abilities can save this episode, sir!

There are so many names I could give this episode. There’s “Captain Kirk Turns Into A Woman,” “William Shatner Goes Where No Actor Has Gone Before,” or “An Study In Ham.” If you’re wondering, yes, I did spell “mutiny” wrong in the title. See the episode and you’ll know why. “Turnabout Intruder” is the final episode of the original Star Trek TV show. As I’ve said before, that third season was far from decent and this episode is just one example of it. Technically, it’s not the last mission of the show. That’ll have to go to “All Our Yesterdays,” a much better episode than this.

The episode starts out with the Enterprise heading to Camus II to help in a rescue operation. We find out that Janice Lester, a former love of Kirk’s, is there and is one of the injured. When the two are by themselves, Dr. Lester uses a machine to put her mind in Kirk’s body and his mind in her body. Apparently, things didn’t turn out well for her at Starfleet Academy (she didn’t get a command position), so she went bonkers and found this machine on Camus II to make the switch happen. She (in Kirk’s body) tries to kill Kirk (in Lester’s body) but the others come back. They all then head to the ship.

I give the look Scotty gives a lot these days.

Lester does what she can to get her helper, Dr. Coleman, to be in charge over her regular body. She takes command but the crew notices that all is not right. McCoy has Lester (in Kirk’s body) checked up on. Kirk (in Lester’s body) does escape sickbay and tries to tell Spock and McCoy the truth but he’s looked on as crazy. Spock does mind meld with him and learn the truth. Unfortunately, Lester uses her power as captain to conduct a court-martial on Spock. When Scotty and McCoy also begin to side with Spock, she orders to have them all executed. Luckily, the crew isn’t stupid and the process that caused the switch starts to wear off. She and Dr. Coleman try to kill Kirk but the process wears off and they go back into their regular bodies.

This episode is a bit below average for me but it is pretty entertaining. The story is a "body-switch" episode and those aren’t always good. What I do like here is that Spock and McCoy know something’s up from the beginning with the possessed Kirk. They just have to take time to figure out the truth. Even Scotty know something’s not right with Kirk foaming at the mouth during the court-martial. Then there’s Shatner’s acting… oh boy. While it is really hammy and kinda bad, it’s actually pretty entertaining to watch. He is acting as a crazed woman in a man’s body, after all.

Uh... I... Hmm... this rendition of Swan Lake is quite riveting!

Then we get to the weird stuff with the sexism and the weird fact that women can’t be captains. Considering that Trek was pretty progressive, I doubt that’s what was supposed to be conveyed there when Lester said that. Personally, I think Starfleet knew Lester had some bolts loose up there and kept her out of a command position. Besides, considering how crazed she was in the episode, what she said about female captains could be taken with a grain of salt. Even after that, it’s just a pretty below average episode that doesn’t do anything that interesting.

Overall, it’s an okay episode. It’s definitely not the best of the series and it is a letdown of a final episode. I will say that it’s definitely better than Enterprise’s horrid finale. This one didn’t make me tear up at the end for all of its badness. If you’re looking for some unintentional laughs, you’ll find them here. 

Weird Star Trek Episodes: Elogium aka "A Very Special Episode of Star Trek: Voyager!"

I think this is the look I had when I saw a small mouse on my counter top recently.

I just realized I haven’t done anything Star Trek related yet. I’m one bad fan, ain’t I? I think I got a little tired of Trek after last year, so I needed a break. I think the fact that I was coming upon Voyager was also a cause. Recently, I’ve started at the beginning with the show. It’s… well, it’s not as bad as SfDebris has said but it’s not really good either. It’s just another Trek show in its early years, so you know how that goes. Today’s episode probably fits in that mold. “Elogium” is a Season Two episode. It was originally supposed to be a Season One episode, but they decided to move it for some reason. I can definitely say that it shows.

In the episode, Voyager encounters a swarm of beings that live out in space. As Voyager gets closer to the swarm, the swarm magnetically pulls the ship into their nest. This somehow causes Kes, an Occampa, to act pretty weirdly. She’s in an eating frenzy and her temperature’s rising. Neelix takes her to Sickbay to get her checked out. It turns out that the swarm’s energy patterns are making Kes go through a premature “Elogium,” the time when Occampian females hit puberty. When these females hit this phase of life, they have to mate soon or they may not be able to have a child after it passes.

Do you like the new look, Chakotay? I call it, "A Sweet Summer's Day."

Of course, Kes and Neelix aren’t taking this lightly. They both go back and forth on whether they’re ready to have a child. Meanwhile, Chakotay and Janeway are wondering if this ship could handle being a generational ship. Eventually, the crew finds out that the swarm is attracted to the ship’s warp signature and looks at it as a potential mate. They find this out when a bigger being, a “suitor”, come and attacks the ship. Thanks to a suggestion from Chakotay, they’re able to get the swarm to get attracted to the bigger being and they get out of there. In the end, Kes decides not to have a child at this point and it even turns out that she may be able to go through the phase when she’s ready. The episode ends as Ensign Wildman comes to Janeway and lets her know that she is expecting a child soon.

I thought the episode was alright. I think this was the first time I’ve actually seen this episode. The plot of Kes going through Elogium was somewhat entertaining. I especially thought the stuff with her eating random crap was actually pretty funny. With the way she was acting, I was wondering if she was pregnant or something. Thankfully, we didn’t get Voyager’s rendition of TNG’s “The Child.” I thought that the aspect of Kes and Neelix wondering about having a kid was alright. We actually got a nice moment about Tuvok and his children.

Oh man... will someone please keep the mustard away from Kes?!??!?

The other plot of Voyager being stuck in the swarm was alright. It wasn’t anything special but I did get a smirk at Tuvok mentioning “sex appeal.” There is stuff that make the episode a bit rough to get through. We have Neelix being annoying in places. The first scene in Sickbay and his complaint to Janeway was pretty annoying. Plus, the whole plot of Voyager being viewed as a sex object is kinda out there. Overall, this was alright and definitely fits as an early season episode. It definitely ain’t the best but I can’t call it the worst either. Well, that’s all I got for now. Here’s hoping I can get through Voyager intact. Peace, God Bless, and don’t let the Neelixs in your life get you down.

Weird Star Trek Episodes – Move Along Home aka “ALAMARAINE... meh!"

It looks like they really want out of this episode, eh?

Well, it’s time to head to Season 1 of DS9. While I do think that DS9’s first season isn’t that bad when compared to most first seasons in the franchise, it’s definitely my least favorite season of the seven. It does have some good episodes though. Unfortunately, it also has some “meh” episodes in there as well. Guess where “Move Along Home” falls into.

The episode starts off as the crew does first contact with the Wadi, a race from the Gamma Quadrant. Instead of sitting down and negotiating stuff, the Wadi want to know where the games are. They end up heading to Quark’s bar and gamble a bit. When Quark gets caught cheating the new aliens out of winning, the main Wadi decides to play a game of his own with Quark. What Quark doesn’t know is that this ends up transporting Sisko, Bashir, Dax, and Kira to some playing field. While Quark plays the game, they have to figure out a few tricks set up for them to solve.

I bet these guys have some extreme version of "Pick-up Sticks" on their world.

Odo (who really puts Starfleet’s security to shame) finds out from Jake that his father’s gone. It takes a while, but he and Quark find out that Sisko and the others are part of the game. It also turns out that their lives may be in danger. Things go bad when the four almost end up dying in the game. Luckily, it is a game after all as the four end up in Quark’s bar unharmed. The Wadi leave and never actually return. Yay.

So, this was a pretty "bleh" episode. While it has a couple of okay moments, it’s not good and pretty forgettable. The Wadi themselves are pretty lackluster. I can see why they were never brought back to the show in any capacity (far as I know). The crew doesn’t really get to do much other than be bewildered and act a little silly. I zoned out towards the end on my re-watch especially since I knew that nothing was really going to happen.

Don't worry. I won't link this to YouTube. I don't want to hurt you that bad.

I did think Quark and Odo themselves make the episode a little better by having some funny moments. Other than those two having a couple of funny moments, the episode’s a dud. I’d say skip it since nothing really comes from it. Still, if you want to see it, go on ahead. Well, it’s time for me to “move along home.” Peace and God Bless.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - In the Pale Moonlight aka “That Was Cold-blooded!”

Captain's Log: Stardate... ugh. I am never drinking "Quark's Secret Surprise" again.

Yeah, I quoted Dave Chappelle/Rick James for the nickname of this episode. The nickname definitely fits, I’ll give it that. I doubt the actual song does. Anyway, “In The Pale Moonlight” takes place during Deep Space Nine’s sixth season. The show is deep in its “Dominion War” era that sort of started in the fifth season. It’s a war that’s not going so well on Starfleet’s side. So, why is this episode in this “weird” bucket? You’ll find out below.

The episode is narrated from Sisko’s point of view. It flash backs to a few days ago when he was getting reports on Starfleet’s casualties from this war. When word about the Romulan’s non-aggression treaty with the Dominion is talked about, Sisko gets an idea. He realizes that the Romulans need to join their side in order to beat the Dominion. He gets with Garak, a sometimes shifty Cardassian, in order to get info on their battle plans. Sisko knows that doing this may turn into a messy affair, but he’s determined to do it. Since Garak can’t find proof that the Dominion will turn against the Romulans, it’s decided that they’ll forge it in the order to fool the Romulans.

Garak has Sisko arraign a forger named Volar so the evidence can be manufactured. In order to make this happen, Sisko has to break some rules to keep him out of trouble.  He had to bribe folk like Quark and lie to Dr. Bashir about some weird chemicals. When the evidence is made, Sisko and Garak get a Romulan senator named Vreenak to secretly come to the station in order to view this evidence. Unfortunately, Vreenak and his guys find out that the evidence is fake (“It’s a faaaaaaaake!”) and they leave in a huff.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, your mileage may vary), Garak figured this might happen. During the testing, he planted a bomb (along with some Dominion evidence) on the Romulan ship. It blows up as Vreenak is heading back to Romulus. He also “took care” of Volar to keep all of this on the down low. Sisko is furious at Garak, but Garak predicts that his acts may get the Romulans into the war. His prediction is correct as the Romulans enter the war on Starfleet’s side. In the end, Sisko knows he did wrong, but realizes it was for the best.

So… is this a good episode? You’re dang right it is! Peace, God Bless, and go get your groove back or something.

.

.

.
Wait, I already did this joke for the one of the worst Trek episodes ever. I might as well do it to a good one too.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Regeneration aka "An Obvious Ratings Grab Gone Right!"

Oh man... someone get the flamethrower or Kurt Russell. Either will get the job done.

So, Enterprise used the Borg for an episode… Let me say that again. The prequel to the whole franchise decided to bring in the Borg for an episode. You might be shocked at what I think about this episode. “Regeneration” takes place during the second season of Enterprise. That was a pretty sub-par season, so you know the producers needed something to increase the ratings. Jolene Blaylock’s hotness wasn’t cutting it, I guess. So let’s see what happens.

The show starts out on Earth in the Arctic. A Starfleet team finds the remains of the destroyed Borg sphere from Star Trek: First Contact. They also find a couple of drones. Guess what happens when they decide to thaw them out. The Borg assimilates the team and leave Earth in the team’s ship. Starfleet Command contacts the Enterprise and orders them to find the ship. They find the pretty modified Borg ship attacking another alien ship. The ship escapes, so the Enterprise tends to the other ship.

I'll say this about Reed. At least he has more sense than most folk when dealing with the Borg. 

 They teleport the survivors to Sickbay but they were assimilated beforehand and try to take over the ship. They also assimilate Phlox, who handles the situation as well as he can.  The crew is able to stop the assimilated survivors by reluctantly jettisoning them out into space. While Phlox desperately searches for a cure, Archer wonders if he can save the Starfleet team. Eventually, he realizes he can’t do anything for them when they find the ship again. Archer and Reed transport over to the ship in order to place charges while Phlox uses the cure he concocted up (yeah, I’ll get to that). In the end, the ship is destroyed and Phlox is cured. Still, the episode ends on an ominous note as T’Pol reveals that the ship sent out a subspace message to the Delta Quadrant.

While I jabbered on about it was a push for ratings, I really enjoyed this episode. The Borg is one of Trek’s best villains, so I liked that they were used here. It also ties in well with First Contact. It would make some sense that some of that Borg sphere would end up somewhere on Earth since the sphere was really close to Earth when it was destroyed. I also liked the obvious homage to The Thing at the beginning. The Borg was treated as a real threat especially since this is the 22nd century we’re dealing with. The Enterprise crew was also good here for the most part. I liked how Archer struggled to deal with an uncompromising enemy.

The continuity issues it brings up don’t really bother me. You could probably explain most of the issues away with something. What I’m not a big fan of is Phlox curing himself from assimilation. That was a little too much though you could explain that big continuity issue up as well. Other than that and the Borg’s inconsistent adapting, I thought this was a good action-packed episode. While it’s not the greatest episode in general, it’s definitely better than a lot of the episodes from season 2.

Weird Star Trek Eps. - Tsunkatse aka "GALACTIC KOMBAT!!!"

Introducing the Rock as "Obvious Ratings Grab Man!"

Yes, I’m doing this again. At least this episode has more of a fightin’ feel to it than Spock feeling hot and bothered. It’s about time I’ve got to Voyager. I haven’t done a complete re-watch of it but I remember this episode from the sixth season. Today’s episode is “Tsunkatse” and it’s another Seven of Nine episode. If there’s one thing Voyager tended to do, it had to have an episode about Seven of Nine. I don’t know how many episodes revolved around her. At least she was an interesting character and kind of cute… okay, she was definitely cute. That’s all you’re getting from me there.

In the episode, Voyager finds a nice system and goes on shore leave. Most like Chakotay and Harry are enamored by the system’s Tsunkatse fighting matches. Seven and Tuvok decide to forgo fun and take a shuttle to research some anomaly. Their ship gets attacked by an unknown  vessel and they get captured. It turns out that they were captured by the ones behind the Tsunkatse matches and they force Seven to fight or they won’t treat a badly injured Tuvok. The crew finds out about Seven when she goes up against The Champion who’s played by the Rock.

The crew tries to transport her out of the arena, but they find out that the fights are actually being distributed through holograms. After Seven gets “Rocked Bottomed,” the eldest fighter (a Hirogen) heals her and teaches her how to fight better. Seven then gets put up against the Hirogen fighter towards the end in a match to the death. Luckily, Voyager finds the true arena and is able to get Seven, Tuvok, and the Hirogen fighter out of there. The episode ends when the Hirogen fighter leaves to find his son and Seven has another conversation with Tuvok.

All this episode was missing was some cool techno music.

This was a pretty decent episode of Voyager. I think this was one of the first episodes I saw of Voyager when we finally got UPN at home. The story is pretty standard with some fisticuffs thrown in. Even though it’s a Seven episode, we get to see everybody. We even get to see SFDebris’ “favorite” character, Neelix, go through some shenanigans. I liked Seven in this and it’s not because she turns into Cynthia Rothrock either. I liked the scenes between her and Tuvok. I also liked the scene between her and the Hirogen fighter.

We get a few guest stars from other Trek shows. Jeffery Combs plays the main villain and J.G. Hertzler plays the pretty cool Hirogen fighter. The Rock’s cameo was cool but it ended too quickly. He was obviously brought in to get ratings. We got a quick but cool space battle scene towards the end. The fight scenes themselves are okay. They are exciting and provide for something different. I don’t think I’ve seen any fighting like this on any Trek show before this. Fight scenes usually involved punching, grappling, and that “two fists clenched together” move everyone does.

I can’t really think of anything that’s bad about it. I could say that “It’s Voyager, duh” but that would be stupid. Well, I guess Neelix getting into trouble and Be’Lanna being one of those ticked off people was a little annoying. Overall, this was a good episode. It’s not the best of Voyager but it isn’t the worst of it either. I guess I’ll find out about that when I finally do a re-watch of it on Netflix. Until then, Peace, God Bless, and don't drop the elbow.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - "These Are the Voyages..." aka "Wait, These Flippin' Idiots Did What? Part 2"

Okay, I'll admit that this scene was good. That's all this episode gets though.

So, I’ve finally finished Star Trek: Enterprise… or at least the final season. There were some season 2 episodes I skipped, so I guess I have to go back and see those to get a better picture. Yay, I guess. I thought I may take this time to talk about the much-criticized series finale. No, I’m not talking about “Terra Prime” which I consider to be the true last episode. I’m talking about “These Are The Voyages…” which I felt I had to watch again. So, “hold on to your butts” because this might take a while.

The whole episode basically revolves around Commander William Riker making a decision on following orders. Yes, this is Star Trek: Enterprise, but someone had the “bright” idea to get Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis to reprise their roles from TNG. The episode actually takes place during “The Pegasus”, a pretty good Season 7 episode. Riker uses the holedeck to pull up the NX-01’s final mission and get advice from the main crew. He plays as the unseen cook to get some advice from everyone. Even Counselor Troi takes a tour of the ship.

Jeffrey Combs... not even you can't save this episode.

For the crew, it’s been six years since “Terra Prime” and Capt. Archer is going to give a speech at the signing of the Federation Charter. They’re contacted by Shran, an Andorian and former ally. His daughter was kidnapped and he needs help to get her. The crew decides to help him out and save his daughter. Unfortunately, it comes at a price. The Enterprise gets boarded by the kidnappers and Comm. Tucker risks his life in order to save Archer. Even though Trip dies, Archer goes on to do his speech (WHICH WE DON’T EVEN SEE) and the episode ends with Riker ending the program. 

So… is there anything good about this episode? Nope. Peace, God Bless, and don’t forget to neuter your dogs or something.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ugh, I guess I have to say more than that.

Weird Star Trek Episodes - Dear Doctor aka "Wait, You Flippin' Idiots Did What?"

Huh... I guess dude saw the ending as well.

Well, it’s time to enter the world known as Enterprise or Star Trek: Enterprise. Call it whatever you want. For the last few weeks, I’ve been going through the show on Netflix. I do have to say that it’s been a rough ride. I skipped one episode from Season One and quite a few from Season Two. At least Season Three has been been good so far. As of now, I’m almost halfway through the season. Today’s episode is from Season One and it’s called “Dear Doctor.” It’s an episode that… well, kind of perplexes me.

The whole episode revolves around the Denobulan doctor known as Phlox. He’s part of an exchange program and he was called to serve on the Enterprise because of his expertise. Some of the episode has him deal with being around humans and getting used to their customs. He also has someone who is pretty interested in him. The main drive of the episode comes when the Enterprise finds a downed pre-warp ship in space. They find survivors (the Valakians) and it turns out that they left their planet in order to find a cure for a planet-wide plague. The Enterprise takes the survivors back to their planet. The crew does what it can in trying to help them find a cure to the disease.

Phlox: Crewman Cutler, I've found a weird message here. It says "Are you interested in me? Check Yes or No." What does it mean?

Crewman Cutler: Uh... it must be a weird custom from the Menks. Yes, that's it! Excuse me...

It turns out the Valakians have another primitive species on the planet called the Menks. The Menks may be primitive but the crew finds that they have the ability to learn fast. They’ve also been treated poorly by the Valakians. It’s revealed that they haven’t gotten the plague, so Phlox checks them out to see if he can find a cure. Towards the end of the episode, Phlox finds out that the plague is actually a genetic disease and it’s killed the Valakians’ gene pool so that they’ll be extinct in 200 years. Phlox has made a cure but he thinks it would be wrong to cure the Valakians since it would hinder the Menks’ growth. Captain Archer doesn’t agree with it, but he eventually decides to defer to the doctor this time. The episode ends with the Enterprise giving the Valakians some medicine to ease the pain of the disease and more or less dooming an entire planet to an illness that could be cured… Well, they did!

The episode is pretty decent for the most part. It’s a “Prime Directive” episode and those are usually decent. It also serves as a Phlox episode which is nice. Barring the last few minutes of the episode, he’s actually one of the more interesting characters on the show. He’s definitely more interesting than Mayweather (sorry, bro) and a couple of others in the first season. I also like his scenes with his “crush” which were kinda funny. The stuff involving Archer and whether he should give the Valakians warp technology was fine and actually made sense other than the “other” plot involving the cure.

Then, there’s the whole issue about the cure. On the one hand, I can understand why Phlox didn’t want to use the cure. In his mind, the Valakians had to go in order for the Menks to thrive. I don’t like it, but I understand it. On the other hand, it just feels wrong. So, you’re going to leave them to die because evolution says so? What about that whole Hippocratic Oath you supposedly live by? The whole planet is suffering from this illness and I kinda think that this situation does fit with that oath. What’s even weirder is that Archer agrees to it albeit reluctantly. Also, you'd think he would have found another way to help both species without dooming one for the other. He doesn't know what'll happen in 200 years let alone three minutes!

Counter this with Archer’s decision to give warp specs to the Valakians. Archer doesn’t give it to them mostly because dealing with that technology is dangerous. There’s also the fact that they really don’t have the resources to teach them about it. It’d be like giving a kid a loaded weapon without teaching him how to use it. That was a decision that actually made sense. The decision with the cure made no sense to me at all. It made a decent episode smell pretty rank. I heard there were some editorial changes made by UPN with the ending, so that’s probably why it feels so “bleh.”

Hmm... I count three cavities, a busted molar, and some messed up gingivitus! What is Vulcan dentistry like?

Overall, it’s a decent episode with a crappy ending. I see why SFDebris gave it a 1 out of 10 but I wouldn’t go that far. It has its moments. The first season in general isn’t bad nor is it really good either. In fact, it has a lot in common with the other series since their first seasons were pretty subpar. Exclude TOS from that list since its first season was pretty good. Well, I’m outta here. Peace, God Bless, and don’t commit genocide anytime soon. It’s just not nice.

Weird Star Trek Eps. - Day of the Dove aka "We Must Beat This Hate Alien with Love and Peace!"

Well, I've come back to the 3rd season of The Original Series. Man, that's a pretty sub-par season. Still, I don't know if can say that about this episode. It has Klingons, swords, a bit of racism, and a hate monster. I think should just start at the beginning...

You know, this ending would have been even more over-the-top if Spock laughed along.

In "Day of the Dove," an energy being that feeds on hate lures the Enterprise and a Klingon cruiser to a planet. It has the ability to manipulate the minds of the crew and their technology. The Klingons are teleported onto the Enterprise since their ship is badly damaged. Then, the being is able to transform their weapons into swords... insert random Highlander joke here. It also tries to make the crew hate Klingons and vice-versa. Luckily, Kirk and Spock figure out that they are being manipulated into hate and violence. They along with Kang's first officer are able to convince Kang that the violence needs to stop. The episode ends with everyone having a big laugh as the love-hating alien leaves the ship.

The episode is okay. I don't necessarily like it, but it's not horrible either. We get a memorable Klingon commander in Kang and we even have the first appearance of a female Klingon. The episode is also action-packed with some sword fighting. It's not great sword fighting, but I'll take it. We also get some over-the-top acting from Shatner and even Keoing who turns into a ravenous maniac.

"Captain! I think I'm on the wrong set again!"

The message of the episode is simple: hate and violence suck. Unfortunately, it kind of beats you over the head with that message. The episode even has an  "Let's all laugh" ending. It kind of makes you want to laugh at the screen and wonder what you just watched. Overall, the episode is okay and that's a good thing since the 3rd season has some truly sub-par episodes. I end the post with  the words of a man known as Vash the Stampede:

"This world is made of love and peace!!!"

Weird Star Trek Eps. - Amok Time aka "Spock Loses His Mind... and is Hot and Bothered!!!"

Well, it's official: Microsoft does make it to the 23rd century.

So, why am I talking about this episode in this month? It's so simple. We get to see Spock lay some of that Vulcan-Fu on Kirk! Yes, I'm going with that explanation! There's also the fact this post is a replacement for another one I wanted to do. Unfortunately, that post has to wait. Anyway, this episode is one of those memorable episodes from The Original Series. It's the first episode of the second season and it's the first episode that features Spock's Vulcan (or Vulcanian) culture.

We see that all is not right with Spock when the episode starts. He's irritable, loud, and close to being emotional. McCoy and Kirk find out that Spock might die if he doesn't get back to Vulcan in a few days. After some prodding, Spock secretly tells Kirk about Pon-farr, the reproductive cycle of Vulcans. He has to go back to Vulcan and "be" with his betrothed wife, T'Pring. Kirk decides to break the rules and help Spock get back to Vulcan. Once there, the three (Kirk, Spock, and McCoy) teleport down and we see the ritual commence with the priestess T'Pau over the whole thing.

Kirk: .... Uh... It wasn't me! I've never even touched a Vulcan woman before!

Shockingly, it turns out T'Pring doesn't want to be with Spock which leads to a challenge to the death. She picks Kirk because... she's a cold-blooded witch. Spock, who's ready to hit something, doesn't want to fight Kirk. Still, the fight must commence or Spock will die. Kirk and Spock fight and Spock seemingly kills Kirk. After Spock comes to himself, he tells McCoy to take Kirk back to the ship. He says his goodbyes to his people and then teleports up as well. On the ship, it's revealed that Spock didn't kill Kirk. McCoy gave Kirk a drug that simulated death. After all of this and a little word from T'Pau on Kirk's behalf to Starfleet, the Enterprise heads off to another mission.

This episode is definitely one of this show's best. So much is done right. We get to see a side of Spock that we hadn't see at this point. Even though the first season had Spock getting emotional at times, this took the cake and ran with it. It was awesome. We also hadn't seen any other Vulcans other than Spock till this episode. The planet Vulcan looked pretty cool. The whole ritual was weird and unintentionally funny at times.

And on that day, slash fanfiction was born! Ugh...

I also like that Kirk is really willing to risk everything in order to help his friend. Even McCoy gets some good moments to shine. We also get that awesome fight and that cool fight music. If you haven't seen the episode, then sorry for spoiling something that has been out for 50 years. It's really a good one. It may even be the episode that got me to really like The Original Series. Well, I think my next weird episode will have to be something that isn't critically acclaimed. Peace, God Bless, and "Live long and prosper."

Weird Star Trek Eps. - Sarek aka "The One Where Picard Loses His (Insert word here)!"

I think it's time to look at some really good episodes that have the weirdest moments in them. Today's episode is no exception. "Sarek" comes from TNG's pretty solid 3rd season. It was definitely one of their better seasons and it had some really exceptional episodes. Today's is one of them.

Sarek: I see that you are wearing the traditional Federation skirt again. It looks quite dreadful.

In this episode, the Enterprise has to escort Ambassador Sarek and his entourage to a peace conference. After the negotiations, Sarek will retire. As Sarek is on board, angry emotions begin to spike up at random moments with the crew. After some investigating, Picard and the crew find out that Sarek has contracted a incurable condition called Bendii Syndrome. The condition makes him lose control of his emotions and his the stress of the conference is making his strong emotions latch onto others. In order to help Sarek complete his final negotiation, Picard undergoes a mind meld with Sarek to help him regain control of his emotions. While Sarek is back as his old self and doing the conference, Picard sits in his room heavily burdened by Sarek's strong emotions. After the conference, Sarek and his group leave the ship and head back to Vulcan so Sarek can get treatment.

This episode is one of my favorites from this season and from the show in general. A lot of that has to do with the fact that we have a character from the classic series in a main role here. I think this episode is what cemented my like for the character of Sarek. We see him at his end here and it's pretty sad. He's contracted a disease that's akin to dementia or Alzheimer's. It is also rare to see a Vulcan other than Spock express a lot of emotion. I also enjoyed the crew getting mad at each other. I especially love that fight in 10-Forward.

Picard just saw Kirk's death scene from Star Trek: Into Darkness. I think he disapproves.

The biggest thing about this episode I remember is Picard losing it at the end. It's unexpected and kind of funny especially in the first few seconds. After that, we get to see a side of Sarek that we haven't really seen before. We see him  monologue about growing old and losing control over his emotions. Picard  also mentions the love Sarek isn't/wasn't able to show his two wives and Spock. If only we got a Sybok reference in there... Anyway, it was some great acting from Patrick Stewart. It's definitely an episode to check out and watch.

Weird Star Trek Eps. - Conspiracy aka "Stomach Monster!?!?!?!?"

Remember when I said that the First Season of TNG was pretty sub-par? Well, there are a few exceptions to that. While there were stinkers, there were some episodes that were actually pretty good. Today's episode is "Conspiracy." It's actually a follow-up to the episode "Coming of Age." In that episode, Picard was under investigation from Starfleet because the higher ups believed something was happening and they needed to trust him. It also featured Wesley Crusher heavily. It's an okay episode all-around.

In this episode, Picard is contacted by a  captain from another ship. He and other captains believe that there is some sort of conspiracy going in with Starfleet. Picard begins to suspect it more when the captain who contacted him dies. The Enterprise heads back to Earth to speak with Starfleet command. Admiral Quinn and Lt. Remmerick (the officers who headed the investigation) show up and one of them decides to stay on the Enterprise for a visit while Picard is on Earth. It's revealed that most of Starfleet's admirals had been taken over by alien parasites and that the parasites were a precursor for an invasion. They try to infect Picard but Riker shows up and a fight ensues. Picard and Riker end up finding the Queen of the parasites  (in one of the grossest ways) and kill it. We end the episode with the crisis averted and a sign that the parasites might return... or not as it turns out.

Picard: What the He--- Kill it! Kill it with FIRE!!!!

It's not one of their best episodes, but it is a pretty decent one. It's pretty action-packed as well. Admiral Quinn gets into a fight with Riker, Geordi, and Worf which was pretty cool and pretty funny. The stakes are pretty high since Starfleet has been infiltrated by these things. What throws this episode into "Freakin' Weird" territory is what happens at the end. Picard and Riker find out that Remmerick (the other investigator) is essentially the queen of these parasites. They blast him with their phasers and the dude literally blows up. Then, the actual queen rises out of what's left of the man and the two repulsed officers kill it. That was probably the most gruesome thing I've seen on something involving Star Trek. I mean, ... "Freakin' Weird, Man!!!"

Get down! He's gonna blow!!!

Another thing that makes this episode a weird one is that the parasites never show up after this.They don't get any mention after the season. I  read somewhere that they would have been brought back but they weren't for some reason. I don't remember the reason. It may have had something to do with the Borg though I may be thinking about the next episode "The Neutral Zone." I do know that this is a decent episode from a pretty sub-par season. If you want to see why the show stayed on the air, check this out. Before you check this one out, check out "Coming of Age" first. If you can tolerate Wesley, you'll be alright.

Weird Star Trek Eps. - Code of Honor aka "Planet of the Black Folk"

Welcome to Season 1 of Star Trek: TNG. By looking at the title for this episode, you might think that it's a Klingon episode. You would be totally wrong. The much better Klingon episode, "Heart of Glory," comes later on in the season. I recently saw this episode on Netflix for some reason and decided that it was worthy of being added to the list of weird episodes. It surely won't be added to the "Best Episodes" list! I can tell you that!

Lutan: Picard! I did not know you knew our "Talk to the Hand" greeting!

The basic plot for this episode is this. The Enterprise has to travel to the non-Federation planet  Ligon II in order to receive some emergency medical supplies. The crew try to make relations with the Ligonians in order to get the medicine. Lutan, The leader of the Ligonians, takes a liking to Tasha Yar for some weird reason. He decides to take her for a wife by force, so the crew has to deal with this predicament and get the medical supplies to the endangered planet. After some Federation know-how and a "babe-on-babe" battle to the death, the Enterprise gets Tasha and the supplies.

It's been said that this episode is one of the worst ever. I think it's not as bad as some other episodes, but I do think it's not a good episode. The whole episode feels like an homage to the original series and it wasn't a good homage. It's like someone watched the bad parts of the Original Series' Third Season and decided to homage it. Who thought having a planet full of black people was a good idea? I mean, something just feels weird about that. It may be the fact that they feel like stereotypes. What's next? The Asian planet? The Irish planet? ...(Thinks for a minute)...Oh crap, they end up doing that in the second season!

One example that definitely sets this in the 80's. 

Other than the somewhat blatant racism, this is just a dull episode. This is an episode I have really only seen either once or twice. It may be the fact that it plays a lot like a below average episode of TOS. It also seems like they were trying to get a good grasp on what the show should be about. I'm not sure. All I know is this: this is one episode that I won't be seeing anytime soon. If you're wondering why people think the early seasons of TNG suck, this may be one episode to watch.