Movie Talk - Assassin's Creed (2016)

And now… it’s time to talk about this possible piece of “felderkarb.” I was going to talk about this along with the first game, but I wanted to re-watch it and give it a fresh watch. Also, I needed to do something while wrapping presents. I got one more left to wrap, but I might hold off since it’s a little big. Anyway, this movie has the special distinction of also taking place within the AC universe. I actually saw some references to the movie characters in Assassin’s Creed: Origins. While it was released during December of 2016, I didn’t see it until much later. I just re-watched it today, so what do I think of this movie now?

The movie follows Callum Lynch, a convict who’s taken by Abstergo to be put into the Animus. Their plan is to find an Apple of Eden, a great source of power. They put Callum into his ancestor, Aguilar de Nerha, during the Spanish Inquisition in 1492. While Callum is captured, he’s able to gain the skills of his ancestor and help other captured Assassins strike back against the Templars. He and the rest of the folk also almost put me to sleep. In the past, Aguilar does action stuff and interacts with the Apple for a bit. That’s all with  that guy since we only spend about 30 minutes in the past… eh.

Angilar: Man, all those other assassins get a crapton of time! Heck, even that Haytham  $%*#* got more time than me and he ain't... wait, that'd be spoiling stuff!

So, this wasn’t a good movie. I can’t call it one of the worst video game movies, but it’s definitely not in the good category. Since it’ll be a short section, I’ll list off the good. All of the actors do the best with what they’re given with. Michael Fassbender, Marion Collitard, Jeremy Irons, and Michael K. Williams were all fine in their roles. The lore for Assassin’s Creed was also intact for the most part. While there were a couple of changes here and there (especially with this Animus), I had no problem there.  The movie feels like a mix of the first few games. The action was also pretty good but unfortunately short-lived. Also, this version of the Animus was kinda cool, but I can’t see it working in the games.

Now, here’s what didn’t work. The writing is pretty dull. While we got the AC lore around, it’s not used much. While the actors do what they can in their roles, the writing doesn’t help. You don’t really care for the characters and there’s not much chemistry between any of them. As I said above, there is action here, but it’s short-lived. Also, some of the action isn’t shot that well. There were points where the action would switch back and forth between the present and past.  You’d see Callum doing Angilar’s moves. While some of it was cool, some of wasn’t that good.

And here, we got an Alfred and a Talia.

One of the biggest issues with the movie is the fact that it spends so little time in the past. In the video games, you’ll get some time in the present, but a majority of your playtime will be in the past time period. Here, we only spend 30 minutes in the past and those were arguably the best parts of the movie. It’s where the most action is and it feels like the game the movie’s based on. Now, I can understand that putting the game’s format into a 2 hour movie would be difficult, but there is a reason we don’t spend too much time in the present in the games. It’s boring… kinda like how this movie is.

It would have been nice to get more of this guy, but nope!

Oh yeah, why did this facility have the Assassins walking around? Why did the guards have no guns? No wonder they broke out at the end! Also, this thing really doesn’t touch on what the Assassins (less so with the Templars) are fighting for! I--- no, I’m just going to stop here since it is Christmas for goodness sake!

Overall, this is a dud. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone even if you get Michael Fassbender shirtless for a bit. If you like the actors and the franchise as a whole, maybe watch for that. Still, I don’t even know if it’s worth that. Just go see that Macbeth movie if you want to see Fassbender and Collitard interact again. That’s gotta be better than this movie. Shoot, I need to see that since Macbeth is my favorite Shakespeare play! Well, I’m going to try and wrap this one present up. I got another post for Christmas, so I’ll be back. For now, Peace, God Bless, and be careful out there.

I found this gif and it's hilarious if you get the context.