Sunday, August 17, 2014

Favorites - Top 12 Henchmen

You know, henchmen usually don’t get it good in stories. They stay in the background doing the main villain’s doing. They usually die first since most action stories need that sort of thing. Worst, they get no recognition for their actions. It would suck to be a henchman. They probably don’t even get pension or benefits! Luckily, there are some henchmen out there that don’t fit the usual mold. They’re memorable, they’re important, they're funny,  they’re actually kind of threatening, and they usually go out with a bang.

12. Major Arnold Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark 
Toht was that creepy German guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark. He’s the guy who roughed up Marion at her bar and tried to steal the pendant from her. He was decked in all black and he had that creepy smile and voice. He’s also one of the Nazis who witnessed the opening of the Ark of the Covenant. All I can say for him is this: Ouch.

11. Harley Quinn from Batman: the Animated Series
Unlike most characters on Batman: TAS, Harley Quinn was created for the series. She’s the crazy, hot-looking henchman for the Joker. She used to be a psychologist before the Joker screwed her up. She’s funny and pretty crazy. Over the years, she’s made it to the comics and even the recent Arkham games. She’s even become her own villain in the comics. Simply put, she’ll doing anything for the Joker.

10. The Jem’Hadar from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 
The Jem’Hadar were genetically-engineered soldiers for the Dominion. The Founders created them to be the best. They have no emotion other that the drive to serve the Founders. They were definitely the best and a whole lot more. The Jem’Hadar made the Dominion War a struggle for the Federation and Klingons. With other forces in the Dominion, they almost one the War. They are soldiers you definitely want on your side… if you’re bad guys anyway.

9. Vamp from the Metal Gear Solid franchise 
The MGS series has its fair share of memorable henchmen. Psycho Mantis, The End, Volgin, and Ocelot are some of them. For me, Vamp is probably the most memorable one . He’s strong, fast, creepy, and a mighty fine dancer. Instead of actually being supernatural, Vamp gains his abilities from nanomachines because nanomachines can apparently do anything in the MGS universe. He’s been able to do more stuff than most henchmen. He’s fought both Snake and Raiden and he killed Otacon’s sister, Emma Emmerich. Overall, Vamp was one creepy dude.

8. The Wing Kong gang from Big Trouble in Little China
The Wing Kong gang was David Lo Pan’s main henchmen. They were essentially demigods. Thunder, Rain, and Lightning were pretty awesome in that movie. Their looks were pretty cool. They each had their own powers in the movie. Mortal Kombat’s Raiden was even inspired by Lightning. They didn’t say much, but their actions spoke louder than their words. They definitely proved a match for our heroes and were a highlight of an already good movie.

7. Bane from the Batman franchise  
While Bane is usually his own man in the comics, he’s usually been a henchman in everything else from TV to the movies. He was one in the animated series and he was one in Batman and Robin. He was even one in The Dark Knight Rises where he was pretty cool. He almost killed Batman and led the League of Shadows into taking Gotham hostage. Even if that movie itself was pretty weak in some places, Bane was cool.

6. Igor from Young Frankenstein 
Igor was Fredrick Frankenstien’s assistant in the movie. With Igor’s help, Frankenstein was able to recreate the experiment his ancestor made famous. Igor was one of the funniest things about the movie. His antics literally made the movie especially his “Abby Normal” moment. I’d want him as a henchman but he wouldn’t be the only one.

5. Tatsu from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
He’s the henchman who apparently needed some Primatene to clear up his throat. Tatsu was the Shredder’s first hand in the first two movies. He’s the guy who got the rest of the Foot Clan into shape. He punished the Clan whenever they messed up. I remember this one scene after the big fight at April’s apartment where he beat  up and almost killed some of his own men. He also had his funny moments as well. His defeats were also pretty funny. Can anyone say “shellshocked?”

4. (Tie) Ursa from Superman 2/Faora from Man of Steel 
They’re virtually the same character, so I might as well list them. Gifted with the same powers as Superman, Ursa and Faora served under General Zod in both movies. They also looked pretty hot… well, they did! They also kicked Superman around but Faora was awesome with her beating. She did it in an IHOP! Ursa was less brutal and more subtle with her powers. Her savageness was as noticeable as her beauty. On the other side, Faora was a beast on the battlefield. She tore through the military like they were nothing. Overall, those two are two women you really don’t want to mess with.

3. Legato from Trigun  
Legato served under Knives, Vash the Stampede’s brother. He could bend people to his will with his mind. He was also a pretty sadistic man. He also part of a gang called the Gong Ho Guns to go after Vash. Out of all of Vash’s enemies, he was the one who really got to him. In order to save the lives of a town, Vash had to kill Legato. Vash broke down after that and it took a while for him to come back from it. Simply put, Legato made Vash lose it.

2. Darth Vader from Star Wars
Yes, he was the main villain in two movies but in the end, Vader was just a glorified henchman. He served under Emperor Palpatine from Revenge of the Sith to Return of the Jedi. He was Palpatine’s main enforcer. He helped bring an end to the Jedi Order and he tried to bring an end to the Rebel Alliance. While he was a good henchman, he also plotted behind the Emperor’s back. He was also a crappy dad. While he still did away with the Emperor, Vader is still one of the best.

1. Bolo from Enter the Dragon and any other Martial Arts Movie 
It’s like this guy was born to play a henchmen. Yeng Sze, aka Bolo Yeung, was Han’s bone-breaker in Enter the Dragon. He was pretty awesome but his demise was a little embarrassing. Anyway, it looks like his agent thought he made for a good henchman, so guess what happened? I don’t know how many movies he’s played a henchman in. I know I’ve looked at a few of them back in January. Sze did it from the 70’s to the 90’s where he fought folk like Jean-Claude Van Damme and Brandon Lee in movies. He was also a bright spot in some pretty crappy movies. In the end, Bolo was the ultimate henchman.

And that’s the end of the list. I know there were some left off, but these were the ones I thought were the best. If you have any that are your favorites, let me know.

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