Saturday, September 21, 2013

Music Retrospective: The Police - Conclusion

So, I’ve finally looked at all of these albums. I have to say that this was pretty different and fun. While I will be listing my favorite Police songs, I also have two other categories. First, I’ll list the six weirdest Police songs. Next I’ll rank the albums from least favorite to most favorite. Finally, I’ll list my ten favorite songs. I chose ten because it’s such a round, nice number that you can take to your parents’ home. Also, my last list stopped at ten. So with all of that out of the way, let’s finish this!

I really wish I got to see them play when they did their reunion a few years ago.
Weirdest Songs – The Police come up with some weird stuff to sing about, you know what I mean? While there are a lot more songs I could include, I’ll just leave it at six today. Besides, I did this category for each album anyway.
6. Masoko Tanga – This is probably the most incomprehensible song I’ve heard. The music’s great, but what in the heck is Sting saying? Is he drunk? Is calling up Cthulu? Is he live or dead? I just don’t get it.
5. Can’t Stand Losing You – The song’s awesome but it goes into the weird territory at the end when the guy threatens to off himself. I guess I now know what NOT to do in a break-up situation.
4. Be My Girl, Sally – It’s a song about a blow-up doll… yeah, it’s shocking. You really don’t find out about that until later in the song/poem. It’s just a weird song in general because it’s mostly a poem. Still, some of the things he says are funny.
3. Murder by Numbers –That’s right, folks!  It’s the song about “murder.” While it is an awesome song music-wise, the lyrics are pretty weird. One lyric even details how you could off someone. While I like the song, I won’t take its advice. I also hope you don’t take it to heart since there’s too much of that going on these days.
2. Don’t Stand So Close to Me – It’s the song about a teacher dating a student who’s half his age… Let’s move on quickly, shall we?
1. Mother – As I said once before, it’s the “little black spot” on the Police’s final album. As a song itself, it's okay. So, what makes the song weird? Other than the fact that it’s about a guy with major mother issues, it could be the chaotic music and the constant yelling.

Favorite Album – Least Favorite to Most Favorite
5. Outlandos d’Amour – This was an easy choice. While I enjoy the album, there are only a small number of their songs on here I really like. The rest are just average and nothing too special. Still, it's where they started and it shouldn't be skipped.
4. Zenyatta Mondetta – I think of this album in the same way I do their first album. I really enjoy it, but I only really like a few songs on there. Where this album excels over their first one is that it’s a more refined version of the Police.
3. Ghost in the Machine – This was a tough one. It’s regarded as one of their best albums but it still comes out at number three for me. I like a lot of the songs on this album.  Heck, it has one of my favorite songs of all time on here. Still, it comes off a little weak in the middle section to me. The first third of the album is awesome and the third/final part is good too. I think it may be the overabundance of “Funky Sax”, I’m just not sure.
2. Regatta de Blanc – This was a tough choice. See, I really like this album. I mostly like it because it’s their most rockin’ album. It’s definitely their most reggae-influenced album. It’s like a perfected version of Outlandos d’Amour. The songs are better and the album as a whole is better. Still, when you compare it to Synchronicity, it comes up a little short. Still, the group’s second album has literally become one of my favorites.
1. Synchronicity – It should come as no surprise that this album has made it to number one. While it may have an issue or two, it’s still a great album. While the first half  of the album is between average and above average, the last half of the album is full of awesomeness. A long time ago, I put this album on a list of my favorite albums. While that list wasn’t a really serious list, this album belonged on it and it still does.

Favorite Songs – Finally, here are my favorite songs from the Police. In order to make the playing field equal and easier, it’ll be my favorite two songs from each album.

10. When the World is Running Down, You Make the Best With What’s Still Around - This song is from their third album, Zenyatta Mondatta. The things that make the song cool to me is the ongoing groove and the nice lyrics.
9. Secret Journey – This little-known gem is from their fourth album, Ghost in the Machine. It’s about going on a secret journey in order to find some sort of enlightenment. I really like the lyrics and overall feel of the song.
8. Synchronicity II- As the title suggests, this is from their final album. This song includes some butt-kicking music and lyrics that really make you wonder what’s going on in the song. It’s a real high point of the album.
7. Bed’s Too Big Without You – This reggae-influenced song comes from their second album, Regatta de Blanc. It’s basically about a man who misses his woman.  The music’s great and the lyrics are cool as well. It’s one of the many good songs on that album.
6. Can’t Stand Losing You/Reggatta de Blanc – Now, this is kind of a cheat since they’re two songs from two albums. Still, "Regatta de Blanc" is basically the musical interlude in "Can’t Stand Losing You," so I’m putting them together, dang it! Anyway, it’s a nice song. It might get a little weird towards the end with the guy threatening to end his life, but it’s still a nice song.
5. Truth Hits Everybody – This song is from their first album. It’s one of the only songs on there that I will not skip. While the meaning of the song eludes me, it really doesn’t matter. It’s fast, it’s got nice music, and it’s pretty short. It’s the standard Police song.
4. Message in a Bottle – If I had one regret about my original list, it’s that I didn’t include this song on the list. This song from Regatta de Blanc is definitely one the best songs they have ever done. The music’s awesome and the lyrics are awesome. It’s the Police at their best.
3. Wrapped Around Your Finger – This is another carryover from my previous list. The music’s awesome. I like the slow, melodic feel of it all. I also like the nice beat that goes throughout the song. The lyrics are also pretty interesting since they reference things from mythology.
2.  Driven to Tears – Here is another example of the group being at their best. "Driven to Tears" is probably their most socially driven song and it’s an awesome one. The music’s awesome and the lyrics kick some serious butt. It even sounds better live.
1. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic – I had to leave this song at number one. To me, it’s their best song. It’s also one of my favorite songs from any artist or group. The whole song’s is just put together so well. The music kicks butt, the lyrics are cool, and the song makes you want to dance like a white guy. It’s great.


Well, I’m at the end of the road with the Police. It’s been fun. Now, it’s finally time to move on to another favorite musician of mine. Who is it? That’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself. Peace and God Bless.
Still, here’s a taste of things to come…

They say the man was dangerous. I’m not so sure about that but I do know that he was pretty bad at his craft. He’d tell those who would bother him to leave him alone and he’d also tell them to beat it. If you messed with him, you might be cleaning up that blood on the dance floor and it might be your blood. He’d get away with it of course since he was a smooth criminal. They say he was invincible, unbreakable, and a thrill to behold. He even has an interesting history. That’s right, folks! I’m talking about … The Wolverine!!!!

Or it could just be that Michael Jackson fellow.


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