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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Tales from the 50 Cent Bin! - X-Men #2-3


This installment of Tales from the 50 Cent Bin! is to you by the awesome people of Genosha. Come on down mutants! We’ll treat you good...you'll get two water breaks every 15 hours!

Well, it’s time to finish off the story I didn’t finish last year. Last year, I looked X-Men #1 by Claremont and Lee. I was going to do a review of the next two issues, but school got in the way and I just got too busy. Now that this month is around again, I think it’s time to finish off this story. As I said before, this story and art are done by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee. These two issues were Claremont’s last X-Men story for a long time. I heard he left the book because of creative differences.  There’s not much left for me to say, so let’s end this!


Part Two
We pretty much pick up where we left off at the end of the first issue. Magneto and the Acolytes…well the Acolytes in general (they’re pretty much blood thirsty), attack Genosha and the X-Men show up to stop them. We then get a battle that lasts a few pages. Fabian Cortez uses his enhancement power to mess up Psylocke’s telepathy. Betty almost gets beat up by some PO’ed Genoshans, but Beast helps her out. Cyclops and Wolverine end up getting shackled by Magneto. Psylocke is able to turn her enhanced power on Magneto and weaken him, but then she, Beast, Gambit, and Rogue are frozen in chrome…that’s weird. Magneto and his Acolytes take the captured X-Men to Astroid M. Meanwhile, all of the world’s governments are prepping for war against Magneto, and Xavier notices something’s wrong with Moira.

All right, Beast! Beat up some "Dang, Dirty, Humans!!!"

On Astroid M, scans show that someone tampered with Magneto’s genetic code. Erik realizes who did this and when it happened. At a boathouse near the Mansion, Charles finds Moira and she’s not looking good. He knows that something is bothering her. At that moment, Magneto shows up like a ghost also demanding what Moira knows. He also uses his powers to lift up the boathouse and carry it into space. Magneto realizes that the only time this tampering could have happened was when he was changed back into a baby…yeah, just roll with it. Someone wrote this “event” back in the 70’s, so you know that some sort of controlled substance was involved. Anyway, he was put into Moira’s care and then got transformed back into an adult during the “All-New, All –Different” era of the X-Men. Moira hesitates at first, but when Magneto almost kills Charles, she tells him everything.

The early 70's were trippy big time.

On Asteroid M, we find out what she did. Basically, she had seen that Magneto’s powers drove him mad. She tinkered around with his genetic code to try to make him into a good guy. She wanted to do the same thing with her son also known as Proteus. Of course, Magneto gets peeved at her for doing this and basically forces her to “make” the X-Men see his side of things with her process. Meanwhile, something happens with ninjas and Omega Red...moving on.

On the asteroid, the X-Men go to Charles’s cell and tell him that they have decided to join Magneto’s side. Wow, Cyclops on Magneto’s side…who thought that could happen? At the Mansion, Jean knows that the Blue Team has switched sides, so they’ve ran simulations in the Danger Room. Their team wouldn’t stand a chance against Blue Team, Magneto, and the Acolytes. Still, they now that they have to do something because Nick Fury calls them and tells them that the Russians have a device aimed at the asteroid.

Part Three
The issue starts out with the Gold Team (aka  the Not-Too-Popular Team) going to save the other X-Men team. To trick Magneto and his sensors, they’re in an invisible, non-metal, glider…comics are weird sometimes. On Earth, Nick Fury tries to stall this attack, but is getting put down by the dang dirty humans. On Asteroid M, Cortez asks Magneto why Xavier wasn’t turned by Moira’s process. Magneto just wants Xavier to suffer because he thinks he had a hand in on the whole “Turn Magneto Good” process. Moira tries to tell him that she acted alone, but then Magneto goes…well, OFF on her. Way to play victim Erik. He suddenly feels pain, but Cortez uses his powers to recharge him. It’s here where Moira realizes that Cortez may be causing Magneto his pain.

Magneto, how many lives have you ruined in your time Hmmmm?

In a recreation room, Blue Team has a little fun with their mind-controlled selves. Gambit tries to hit on Rogue but fails. When she uses her powers, she starts to notice things aren’t right. Wolverine leaves the group and only Beast notices. Meanwhile, Team Gold makes it to the asteroid. Moira notices them coming, but Wolverine notices them as well and looks like he might kill Moira. The Gold Team breaks in and gets the professor. They head on to find the other team, but they find them first, and here are the funniest panels of the whole story:

I got a lot to say about this one:
Oh no! Cyclops been replaced with “a real douche!”
...
Wow, Cyclops says and does a lot of stuff when he's mind-controlled. Let's see, there's the Phoenix, Magneto, Brett Ratner, Chuck Austen, Xavier...
...
Jean: Well...are my kisses as good as Emma's, Madylene's, Colleen's, and that one chick you were with when I was dead?
...
I could go on, but I'll stop here.

 Blue Team and the Acolytes start to fight Gold Team. Luckily, Beast decides to break out of his mind control and help out the good guys. Eventually, all of Blue Team snaps out of their mind control as Magneto and the rest of the Acolytes show up. Magneto starts to kick some mighty butt, but he falls to his knees and starts to get even weaker. Wolverine and Moira show up and it revealed that Moira’s process could not have worked on Magneto because it failed the moment he used his powers. That’s how the team snapped out of the mind control.

It’s also revealed that Fabian Cortez is “down for the cause” because he leaps into an escape pod, and sets off the Russians’ device. He does this to make Magneto a martyr for the cause.  As the device is destroying Asteroid M, Magneto is able to disable the nuclear warheads on the rock and the X-Men start to head to their glider. Xavier pleads with Magneto to come, but he and the Acolytes stay on the asteroid. The X-Men escape as the asteroid blows up. Xavier reveals to both teams of X-Men Erik’s last words and they’re nice last words. The story (as well as a solid 16-year run) ends as Xavier gives an inspiring speech to the teams.

See ya Chris. You were awesome.

…………………………………………………………………

Now this story is done. What do I think of the second and third issues? They’re good, but not great. I first want to say that the art in the overall story (including issue 1) was pretty good. It had a few gaffes (Logan looked possessed in one panel and the women had swivel hips), but it is still pretty good. It had an epic feel to it and the fight scenes were well done. The writing is still good even with “Claremont Exposition,” but I have one complaint: the whole thing involving Magneto’s genetic code kind of feels like a copout. It’s like they want to say “This is why Magneto went good for a while! He was programmed to! Bad guys can’t change and undergo development as a character blah blah blah.” It does get debunked here as well, but it feels weird that it gets mentioned and then debunk it after one issue. Anyway, the overall story is a pretty good one. It was a nice end to Claremont’s epic run with the X-Men.

Well, I have one more GN to go….ULTIMATE X-MEN. Yes, I’m finally going to look at this tpb.

NEXT TIME: AFTER A YEAR, IT’S NOW TIME TO GET ULTIMATE!!!!!

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